Out in the garden, crying your baby tears, is a bad place to hide from a father who loves gardening and flowers, young one.

In fact, lo, there he is, and oh you woebegone creature, your baby-like sobbing has caught his attention. Curse your father's comically large ears.

And so, hearing what sounds like a small child crying, your father, wearing a bright pink shirt and a floppy straw hat and holding a trowel in his hand peers out around him. "Hello?" he asks. "Is someone there? Are you alright?"

It's dad time.