[ one day there will come a time where peter won't freak out when groot hurts himself. he's a tree, strong and sturdy and capable of growing back his branches if he needs to. he's a super tree! a hero who had broken the fall from the sky and had lead peter to his most heroic act of dancing in front of an evil alien overlord. ]

[ but he still freaks out when groot goes crashing. he makes a move to slide his chair back, but as predicted, groot comes back with all limbs intact, if a little bruised. ]

[ also: called it. you need him, groot. consider being nicer next time, yeah? ]

Ha. [ peter's now smug. ] Now you want me to teach you how to eat whipped cream. I knew this would come. You need me. I'm the Whipped Cream Lord after Star-Lord, I know everything whipped cream. Whipped cream is my bitch.

[ he reaches forward to grab the can and shakes it, making a show of it. shaking it in one hand, then the other — he uses it like it's a set of maracas. and when he goes to open it and spray it on his old pie, nothing comes out. ]