(i miss you is the key; the key to drowning out the other voice, or at least long enough for Brian to brace himself for what he fears might be the most painful impact.
(what if he doesn't care to hear it?)
it's his own doubt then - his own voice reverberating in every crack and edge of his mind, both urging him to and discouraging him from looking at Tim. it's fear again, but Brian knows it goes deeper than the fear of being yelled at - fuck's sake he's been yelled at plenty for the past years, followed plenty and threatened.
it's different though. it's a whole lot more personal. )
( but there is no hand threatening to push him off again - or worse yet, a tone of disdain. there is no dismissal to his quiet confession, no otherwordly judgement and the world hasn't come crashing down in flames yet.
OW?? 1/2 bc this is long
(what if he doesn't care to hear it?)
it's his own doubt then - his own voice reverberating in every crack and edge of his mind, both urging him to and discouraging him from looking at Tim. it's fear again, but Brian knows it goes deeper than the fear of being yelled at - fuck's sake he's been yelled at plenty for the past years, followed plenty and threatened.
it's different though. it's a whole lot more personal. )
( but there is no hand threatening to push him off again - or worse yet, a tone of disdain. there is no dismissal to his quiet confession, no otherwordly judgement and the world hasn't come crashing down in flames yet.