but there is something. something else infinitely deeper, something in both tone and response that buries like claws in Brian's chest and all of a sudden he's eyeing his (former? current?) friend with puffy red eyes and earnest (almost Brian-like) disbelief. )

I didn't...

( sorry. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, oh my god what haveidone his mind races, his pulse races, but his eyes are fixed on Tim and he's having a hard time processing the question without breaking down just the same.

(the tears come back, blur his sight, but it all makes sense all of a sudden and there is but a fr a g— )

Fuck-

( —m ent of a second wherein he moves, quick on his tired feet, quick to reach for him, hands all of a sudden not as wary of grasping for Tim's wrists, Brian on one knee and trying, trying to shake him out of it before the bile rises up, before he can no longer stand seeing him like this. )

I'm so sorry. Tim. I'm so sorry.