( Brian's throat is choked up with something he's too scared to put a name to. when he blinks again, he is still as pathetic-looking as one would be; he still feels sick. guilty. worried. )

( he put an uncrossable barrier between himself and the person he has always called his best friend. in trying to save him, he endangered him further. all the while making him believe that he - Brian - was dead. )

... I deserve every ounce of hatred that you might feel. ( saying it feels a little like opening pandora's box; he has no idea what might come out of it. but he would rather say it instead of lying again. instead of gaslighting and hurting Tim again. ) Just like I deserved to be…

( did he? )

I'm so sorry, ( his voice is quiet, his breathing shallow ) For not being there. For not being the person you could call a friend. For...

( For being too scared of worrying him? For being too scared that he would run away? Think again, Brian. )

..For- not protecting you...