entranceworks | + ENTRANCEWAY TEST DRIVE MEME +

HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?!

Your mind is a car, a car in the vastness of the universe, slowly going down the road which connects thought upon thought and you glance at your hands as they grasp the steering wheel, wondering if you are fit to master the curves of creativity, to weather the rocky roads of prose, to order a cool glass of beer at the roadhouse of inspiration no wait a second you can't order a beer you're driving you're test driving your mind car drunk what have you done WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS IS THE MIND POLICE SLOW DOWN AND PULL OVER IMMEDIATELY YOU ARE UNDER ARREST I SAID SLOW DOWN THIS IS--

♥ ENTRANCEWAY ♥
TEST DRIVE MEME

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ !!!!!!

Once again, wandering around and doing things that feel like the right thing to do has put Soos exactly where he needs to go. Let no one question the power of going with the flow. ]

Mr. Pines! [ He is making an instant beeline. Wherever there's a World's Best Boss on the horizon????? HE'S THERE AND HE MISSED HIM. Plus there's something about seeing a Pines in a weird situation that makes it less weird. Go figure. ] Haha, wandering around kinda was the plan. Like, a mysterious otherworldly mansion that defies all reason? Who knows what's up with that?

[ It is almost 2 spooky 2 be believed. ]

[A Pines in a weird situation is basically no different from being at home. Magical dimensions kidnapping people? Just your average day in Gravity Falls, probably.

Stan's actually missed Soos enough that he meets him halfway instead of just making Soos close the gap himself out of laziness. Really, he should be more annoyed about this - one more person from home is one more person Stan has to try and get out of this stupid world, but he doesn't have the heart for it. It ain't like it's Soos' fault and he could use the manual labor and unquestioning loyalty for a certain secret Definitely Not A Portal project anyhow.]

Beats me. [Stan shrugs, and it's not a total lie for once. This whole world is some new supernatural mystery, but Stan can't bring himself to care. He just wants to go home, kids and Soos in tow.] Don't get too comfy though - this dump gets real old real fast, even with all the magical mystery crud everywhere.

I dunno, I can get comfortable pretty much anywhere. Especially since it looks like they don't have a bus route? [ Seeing as Stan seems like he either got bored or got tired of the whole thing already, it's probably safe to say that there is indeed not such a bus route. That's just how Mr. Pines rolls, which is fair enough. He shrugs back on principle. ]

But it's true that it's still no Mystery Shack. [ Magical castle with unsolved mysteries and caves and a beach and wish-granting closets versus the Shack??? Forget about it. This brings to mind some of the most legitimate cause for worry he's had since he got out of the caves. Their tourist-trap-manning numbers are running pretty low back home. ] Man, I hope everything's okay back there while we're here.

[ Like. Abuelita can handle herself with grace and dignity, but the Mystery Shack kinda needs hand-holding. And Stan's brother, while cool enough and all, hasn't seemed to be an in-on-the-business dude. What if another letter falls off and it's just the MYS ERY HACK? If a snowglobe gets knocked down and a handyman isn't there to sweep it up and glue it back together, can it still be sold? ]

[Of course it can still be sold! Stick a little tag on it that says something abstract like BROKEN DREAMS: $20 and some sucker will be stupid enough to pick up all the glass and buy it. The real problem is that there's no man of mystery to collect that twenty bucks, and Wendy sure as heck won't stick around if no one's supervising.]

Eh, it'll be fine. There's some...time weirdness goin' on, or whatever. I'll let the kids fill you in, but the short version's that we're stuck and no one even knows we're gone.

[Stan doesn't always have the greatest self-esteem, but he's pretty sure Soos would notice if he took off without a word, and since that doesn't seem to have happened it just proves all these time shenanigans, but he'll still leave it for Dipper to get all nerdy about.]

It's worse than no Shack though. [He grips Soos by the shoulders and looks him in the eye like he's about to give him the worst news of his entire life.] Soos, there's no economy. It'd be different if everyone was poor - then everything turns to bartering, or you just go dig up your gold hoard and become the richest jerk in town. People here just...they give each other things! Outta the goodness of their hearts or somethin'! Without expectin' anything in return! It's enough to make a guy sick! I've tried everythin'! Ten minutes ago I tried to make a purchase with fish, Soos!

[He fishes in his pocket and holds out a can of mackerel, as if he has to prove this actually happened.] What kinda prison don't even take prison currency?!

[ Soos would both notice and be the first person to volunteer for the search party if Stan vanished into thin air, or his nickname isn't Soos at all. But boy, it's good to not have to handle that kind of reality. Just this economy-lacking mansion with a boiler that runs on nothing. And Soos can handle that biz as long as even Stan's sure that the Shack's okay.

Poor, poor Stan, though. The economy is so important to him. And prison is also important to him in a less positive capacity, so that's not really working in his favor. It's like putting a shark in a tree. Sure, it's totally up there and that's kinda rad in itself. But it doesn't have any business being there.

100% here to pat Stan's shoulder in solidarity. The man is holding canned mackerel. He clearly needs it. ]

I'm so sorry. [ This is a grave and legitimate life problem. ] If there's anything I can do to help, I'll do it.

[ The countdown to Soos volunteering to do vendor-trading for something for the Pines probably just started, tbh. It's almost inevitable. ]

[Clearly he does. He tried asking the network about it once (if by "asking" you mean "ranting about how weird it is") and got a whole bunch of kind-hearted nonsense in response, from people who don't get that people don't just hand you things and expect nothing in return.

Soos gets it though - he's hung around Stan long enough that he knows better than to question his stingy ways. Money makes Stan's world go around and without it he's gotten desperate.

Stan's not always the greatest at handling people treating him with genuine sympathy, so the most Soos gets in return is a glance at that hand on his shoulder and a vague nod, acknowledging that this is a moment that happened. And that's probably enough, right?]

Yeah, I know you will. [And he appreciates it. Really. This is basically him saying he appreciates it.] Ain't much to do 'bout it in this joint though, aside from tryin' to start up my own currency...

[He may or may not be actually considering it. It's not going to work but at least it'd be something to do between all his other scheming around here.]

[ Not a bad assessment at all. Sure, there's a whole "secret twin brother, lied about his identity for thirty years" deal proving Soos doesn't know Stan better than anybody, or even as well as he might have thought. But from what he still trusts that he knows, for whatever reasons, he'd rather get an awkward nod from Stan Pines than something really friendly and through-the-teeth from Mister Mystery. A hug's no good if it's only a half-effort platitude. A genuine nod and "I know you will" that he earned, though...

Yes, much like expensive hand cremes and nonstick cooking spray, a little always goes a long way with Soos. ]

I always thought the Stan Buck was unappreciated in its time back home. [ He removes his hand from Stan's shoulder and brings it to his chin in thought. ] Hmmm. You'd need some really killer ads to get people pumped up about it. And that means a lot of lasers, dude.

[ People. Love. Lasers. He can't imagine people not loving lasers. ]

[The truth is that Stan kind of knows already that the Stan Buck isn't going to catch on, because it's hard to convince people who never use money that they should definitely use his money. But it's something to do and so he pretends he has to think about this really hard and weigh the pros and cons of this.]

Lasers...

[Hm...HM...Then, Stan snaps his fingers and grins.]

I like it! More lasers than anyone in Wonderland's ever seen! [He cackles a little and gestures widely, returning to his showman demeanor.] Only good thing about no economy is for once, we've got a completely unlimited budget, as long as we can get it from the closets and not those jerkfaced vendors. We can get smoke machines, Soos! We can get live animals! Everyone'll wanna convert to the Stan Buck once we're through with 'em!

[Either that or they'll just annoy the heck out of everyone, but Stan's bored enough of this place that it would be worth it, really. They'll get over it. ...Or convert to his currency. Everyone wins!]

+ ENTRANCEWAY TEST DRIVE MEME +

SMOOSHES STAN'S OLD GUY FACE TBH

HE'S MISSED HIS SO- HIS HANDYMAN. HE'S MISSED HIS HANDYMAN VERY MUCH.

soos, tirelessly working to get the last letter of the word 'son'.

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I've always wanted a reason to use this icon

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