I can honestly think of a lot of people who should definitely not have access to a rocket launcher, though, so I'm gonna go with congratulating the closets on their discretion.

But I have to say, you're kind of making this place sound more like an extended, magical vacation resort than a place we've been kidnapped to. Also sort of Narnia-like, with the no-time-passing thing. Which was always the suckiest part, if you ask me; who wants to live through puberty twice?