entranceworks | + ENTRANCEWAY TEST DRIVE MEME +

Entry tags:

meme

+ ENTRANCEWAY TEST DRIVE MEME +

Has this ever happened to you?!

The theory is beautiful but the practice is ehhhh, the spirit is willing but the flesh needs canon revision, the muse is new and the task is daunting, and people on plurk were like OMG GO APPLY but you were like eehhhhhhhhhhh again and entranceway, what is it with this weird game and questionable run-on sentences in its memes is there no law is there no order is there no country for old men or young men or a bigger animanga cast WILL I LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS AND THE EXPECTATIONS SOCIETY PLACES UPON ME WHY ARE YOU STILL TYPING LOOK I JUST WANT TO PLAY A FEW THREADS AND SEE HOW THAT CHARACTER WORKS OUT IN THIS GAME oh wait you just want to play a few threads and see how that character works out in this game this game of wonderful Wonderlands well then

THEN STEP RIGHT UP AND SEIZE OPPORTUNITY BY THE--

--uhhhh, beard. Beard! I meant beard. Seize... seize it by the... beard and come meet your fellow cast and players at the... family-friendly, wholesome and healthy, entirely safe for work

♥ ENTRANCEWAY
TEST DRIVE MEME ♥

►► Test your shiniest and brand newest muses! Bring an old voice and try Wonderland's setting and population on for size! See how that Mirror personality fits your character! Post a top level comment, tag into other people's starters, enjoy yourself!

►► Thread out your character's arrival, have them act the long-established resident, let our past events inspire your scene, or write up literally any Wonderland-based scenario you feel like threading out!

►► If you want to take it a step further, check out our NAVIGATION for all the game info you'll need, and our INPUT & INQUIRIES page for any missing pieces. If that's got you convinced, the pages for RESERVES and APPLICATIONS are right there for you!

►► Please only note that any threads made as part of the test drive meme are not game canon, and cannot be used for the activity check OR as samples for any future applications. Thank you for understanding!

AND THAT IS ALL, NOW GO GRAB 'EM AND HAVE FUN!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Of all the possible things he could have said - I've been dead for a long time shrills at the back of his head, confirmation of what he never wanted to know. Of what he shouldn't have ever had to know. The uncertainty wasn't the problem - he's well-used to that, uncertainty. He can take uncertainty.]

[He can't take the agony of knowing.]

[Contrary to the plea, Tim steps back, shifting his weight away, his shoulders hitching up as he regards Brian warily.]

How'm I supposed to trust something like that? After everything you -

[He didn't help. He knows that. It's his fault, it's his fault, he is - I am a liar.]

Tim, please, don't do this. Don't do this now. ( the pleading tone takes on a little more urgency and Brian almost wants to stand up and reach out to him. he doesn't, however, knowing full well how that might just make things worse.

( Brian does not deserve the very mercy he pleads for; he is a monster. manipulative. an ugly, ugly man. ) )

I'm- ( oh god oh mygodpleaseitwants—

It lingers. Brian winces visibly. ) It's me, not. Not that thing.

... Tim. I feel so lost.

Don't do what now?

[Don't do this now? Did Brian ever stop, for one second, to not do things because it would have been a little too much for Tim to register? Did he ever stop and let him take a goddamn break? Did he ever allow that same courtesy for the men he was, apparently, meant to be helping?]

What thing? It's not here, I haven't seen It, not since -

[He stops dead, his expression contorting.]

What happened to you?

( Tim is right on all accounts and although Brian may be loathe to admit it, he has every right to be upset. he has every right to leave him up here on his own if he so wishes.

he breathes deeply, doing his best to look a little less pathetic, however it is really difficult now that everything is pretty much over. )

I meant me- not me, Brian, the one that... The one that It brought out..

( his neck hurts. his hands hurt. but in his head there is only white noise. )

I'm different, Tim. I don't remember when it started but I... I remember it happening. I just wanted to be by your side but-

( i hurt you for my own gain. betrayed you for pills and that masked fucker like thirty pieces of silver. )

I... I. God I've failed everyone, haven't I?

[Is he lying?]

[Is he a liar?]

[He can't know, can he? This was - this was what Jay must have endured. The thought is blinding, like a lightning strike to his spine, and now he can't fucking shake it. Jay, confused and frustrated by the divide, unable or maybe simply unwilling to understand how it worked, finally coming up against someone who could offer him some answers and given nothing, nothing, nothing in turn.]

[He's different. He just wanted to help.]

[How's he supposed to trust that?]

Don't give yourself so much credit. [The words are cold and heavy as cut marble.] We all did.

( his response cuts through Brian like a hot knife; he deserves it, he knows but it doesn't keep from hurting. contrariwise, it hurts more knowing how rightful his anger is. how there's nothing he can do to make up for it. for the petty thieving. for Jessica. for Jay - most important of all, Jay and how warped he was to let the man get caught in his web of deceit.

the ark. the ark, all of this for the ark. all of this for what feels like a delusion

the ache in his chest is different from the rest; it's not physical, not exactly, lathered with a mix of guilt and confusion and misplaced anger. )

I'm sorry, ( his hands - uncovered, marred in bruises and cuts - go up to his face, rubbing at the bridge of his nose in an attempt to keep calm. ) So much happened, so much that- nothing in my head makes sense. The- It and Alex, and I just.

( He's mumbling, all but trying to make sense of all the dozens of things he wants to say at once. )

... None of this should have happened.

[It'd be harder to be angry if Brian weren't so - ]

[He's heavy with remorse. He's almost unrecognizable as the man with the broad smile and the witty one-liner, who could navigate any and all social circles with a practiced ease that Tim envied. Seeing him like this now - worn, broken, gaunt, pale - ]

[It's wrong. It's so, so wrong.]

[This wasn't supposed to happen.]

I don't care what you did. Why you did it. Not to - you were mad that I brought that - I'm the reason It came for you. I know that I -

[That's not why he can still hold that live ember in his heart now.]

But you led Jay. You led him straight to Alex, and you let him die.

God damn it, Tim, it's not your fault- ( his hair, cut short, doesn't quite fit in his grip to tug at but Brian's knuckles turn white against his own forehead nonetheless. it's his fault says the predator lingering under the surface, but this is between the best Brian can manage and Tim. and it may be a sysyphean climb to offer even a glimpse of his old self, but to hell if he isn't trying. ) You think I'd have run if I knew sooner? You're- my friend, man, my real friend. I'd have been right there even if--

( would he have risked his own sanity? He- he thinks so. but he's so confused. Angry and confused, but he's controlling the former and trying to solve the latter. Tim is right, he knows.

in the end, he could have gotten away with a lot of what he did. but he shouldn't have gotten Jay involved. )

I don't- I should have never done that. I know-- now. I was so desperate, I thought he'd lead us to... ( where? to the Ark? ) It... It doesn't fix anything to say I didn't want him to die. But I didn't. Not... Not me. Jay didn't deserve that.

[You're my friend.]

[That's the word that detonates beneath Tim's skin, hot and nuclear and leaving him gritting his teeth against the headache threatening to bleed into his throat and set him coughing. He knows what his friends get - what he leads them into. What knowing him does to them.]

You're damn right he didn't deserve that. Wasn't enough that you had to be breaking into my house and stealing my meds, was it? You had to go and - and keep pushing Jay into it, and it killed him!

I needed them, Tim! ( he shoots back, so sudden and firm despite the quivering octave lacing the other's name. it's different - it's the hooded man (the hooded brian? the affected (infected) brian?) leaking through and it takes him a moment and a pinch to the bridge of his own nose to keep from pushing it. ) There's... Too much - there was too much noise in my brain and they helped. They made It feel weaker for a while.

( shameful; he's a thief. he's still got one in his pocket. )

I was sure Jay could lead us to- to ( don't fucking say it ) I thought... He could stop Alex. I didn't want him to die! I didn't want anyone to get hurt.

Edited 2017-08-08 00:19 (UTC)

So you steal them off me.

[That was no solution, and Brian should've known that. He can almost see the moment where Brian teeters on that brink, tips over - Jay could lead him to his precious ark, whatever the hell that was meant to be.]

[What issues from Tim's mouth doesn't even come close to a laugh. It's mirthless and so pointedly bitter that it erupts in a scornful burst of sound, rasping like a cough out from the back of his throat.]

Never thought to fucking ask?

[Did he not - did he never realize?]
[That there is precious little Tim would not have done for him?]
[Did it simply never occur to him at all?]

( the sound of Tim's voice alone keeps cutting through Brian's heartstrings, a mix of guilt and some form of a defensive feeling both washing over him like two seas oceans crashing into one another. his hand reaches down to the fabric of his pants, baggier than they'd been a few years before, dirtier too. )

Think I enjoyed stealing from you?

( I didn't always steal them, you know )

You think I- rationally enjoyed taking something you needed? ( something you need? i've got one. but i can't give it back yet. ) You think you would have let me?

What- would I even say? Hey? I'm seeing things that aren't there, mind if I pop some pills with you? Fuck's sake, Tim; ( he's not even angry; honestly at this point being pushed off the roof would be more merciful.

-- running away from his problems again. )

I was- I was a coward, okay. There.

[You robbed and stole and crept about beneath the radar, like you were on the run from the law. Shaking his bottle of medication like it was some kind of grotesque maraca, taunting him with it. Because he wouldn't do as he said.]

I dunno! You never said it, but you said you -

[His lips twist, like he's swallowed something bitter, and he flinches as though struck - ]

Enjoyed watching me suffer.

[Because who wouldn't, right? With everything Tim's done, with every sin weighing on his shoulder, with every person whose life he's razed just by existing, broken from the very cradle, he has nothing to his name but the lines of numbers, of code, that indicate just how completely and deeply he's fucked everything up.]
[Who closed that door?]
[Who was the first to step away?]
[Did you really think it was Brian?]
[Who wouldn't enjoy watching someone suffer for all the pain they've caused?]

I– We... We said it. But do you... For real, do you think I meant it?

( I did, pounds the voice in the back of his head. Selfish. Uncaring.

a monster,

Brian is one, too. But- not that much. Not to Jay or Tim. Not as long as he's rational.

He just hasn't been. He's been scared. Tired. Defeated. )

I would never- Tim, all I ever wanted was for you to be okay. I never imagined that... That there was so much going on. That something like this could ever...

( you're acting like a lapdog, Brian

youmanipulativelittlefuck–—

his knuckles are turning white.
the anger rushing in doesn't feel his. he just wants it to go away. )

You were my one real friend, you know.

How was I supposed to know what you meant?

[The word breaks, nearly splitting in two. How was he supposed to know? All he got were fragments of code - pieces of fractured sentences that he could run back in his head, by the end of it, the blocky imprints of video titles and encrypted messages humming like a discordant mantra in the back of his skull. Shards of those ominous sentences dribbled like breadcrumbs behind.]

[None of them containing the slightest fraction of the old affection Brian might have felt. None of them hinting at anything but disdain, but distance, but contempt for Jay and all he failed to do.]

How was I supposed to know anything but what you left in those videos?

You... Weren't. I'm sorry, Tim but those videos were...

( more excuses?

tell him how obsessed we were

he rubs the bridge of his nose tiredly. this isn't him - this isn't the Brian he used to be. the one who could light up the room with a smile, the one who could practically make flowers bloom just with how radiant he always seemed to look. now he was nightmarish in comparison and oh god Tim is absolutely justified in his pain.

he has no excuse - Alex isn't an excuse. the hooded man('s obsession with), the masked man, they're no excuse. Not when Brian began to assimilate the once blank spots in his own memory.

because this- fuck, this isn't about the ark or the operator, it goes deeper than that. this is about the quintessential sense of betrayal that he placed upon his best friend. )

( he shakes his head. )

... Before all of this happened.... I worried back then too. But I could show it and then everything changed and--

I'd take it all back this very instant if I could. I'd make it up to you however I could.

I'm not the one you should be making shit up to. I'm not the one who died because you couldn't give a straight answer!

[Who gives a rat's ass if Tim was in the line of fire? He's always in the fucking line of fire. He's always gonna have shit up his creek and he's always gonna be on the verge of some fucking breakdown or another. There's no way to fix that. There's no way to fix him.]

[But Jay.]

[He led Jay along. Led him straight to his own death. Led him to Alex Kralie and watched him get gutshot and sat by and did nothing.]

( he cares if Tim is in the line of fire. he cares that he was complicit in outing Tim's issues, even if the hooded man meant to prove some sort of point. he cares that Tim is angry, because he had to live and relive the same horrors for years.

and in caring so much, Tim is right; Brian is leaving Jay out. partially out of fear, mainly out of uncertainty -- what can he say that won't make him a bigger monster on the matter? it's his fault. he knows. it's his fault Jay is dead. )

... I can't. I don't know if I could face him after all of this.

( you're a coward )

I didn't- oh my gosh. I remember Jay, I would never do anything to hurt him but I still-- ( shut up, shut up shut-- ) What do you want me to say, man? I never wanted things to turn out the way they did!

You owe him that much. I owe him for that.

[For leaving him tied up on the floor. For leading him wrong. For being the worst kind of person, for stabbing him in the back, for betraying his trust on every level that he did.]

[Carrying that secret in his gut, until the time where he'll die still living it.]

[This wasn't supposed to happen.]

You think any of us wanted things to turn out the way they did?

I know- I know that, and I want to make things right but I don't know how.

( the truth is, although Alex may have shot the gun - it's still on Brian that Jay got shot. it doesn't matter if it could have happened "at any time" and there is no conceivable excuse his guilt can settle with.

that he settles with a tired sigh - a choked noise, really, teary in the back of his throat, warm but bitterly so - is a miracle, but he knows yelling back at Tim will solve absolutely nothing )

( he doesn't want to be the better person. he wants to make things right. )

... You ever dream of the masked guy? Ever wondered how he feels 'bout any of it?

( he swallows a heavy lump, rubbing the bridge of his nose with both hands again )

The-- the thing living in my head.. I know it didn't care as much as you, or me, about anything. About Jay, about Jessica, it just... It doesn't excuse me but it's like having another voice in your head trying to speak louder and I...

( when did it start, really? )

Tim. Please.

( i need y-

.

. )

I miss you.

I don't care what that - thing feels.

[It can be dead and buried, as far as he cares. He'd stomp it beneath his heel if he could - grind it out into nothing. Rip it out from his skull and watch it scream like some withered cockroach.]

[It doesn't deserve shit. And he doesn't give a damn what it thinks. He lived in this body first - it doesn't have a goddamn right to it.]

[I miss you.]

[I miss you.]

[The words rebound about the confines of his skull in a cruel echo. He can almost see them draped in static, imprinted against the black screen, fizzing with that undercurrent of urgency that colored every one of those videos that cropped up on the totheark channel.]

[It doesn't help that he looks like him - that he has shades of the man he knew.]

[That he has the same look in his eye.]

[because he]

[never stopped missing him]

[The words choke out in the way they do when Tim gets angry, and he hates himself for how he can't keep his composure when he's like this. He doesn't know how to be angry and intimidating in that anger. Doesn't know how to bristle it and weaponize it the way Alex could. Because it's hard to look angry when your cheeks are hot with tears and you're trying to snarl past the messy lump in your throat and the snot gumming your words.]

Then why didn't you come back?

[He's struck with an absurd memory, a shred of dialogue from an old student film.]

["Was it because of Sarah?"]

[And that's the thing that has him stumbling back and burying his face in his hands.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

woop woop did somene call for emotions

EVERYTHING IS FINE 1/??

no subject

no subject

no subject

done